Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The reality of fleeting time

In November, a friend and colleague died of a heart attack at age 48. I've been wondering these past months what dreams Peter had that he didn't have time to fulfill. Besides more time with his wife and seeing his young children grow up, did Peter have a "bucket list"? Did he have places he wanted to explore? Or books to write? Or music to learn to play? We never had that conversation, but I've been having it with myself.

Last post, I listed my writing dreams for the year. And the more writing I do, the more I want to do. The same is true of my painting and collage work. And now I'm writing poems and really having fun with it. What ideas do I want to explore in the novel? What characters make come to life? And while I'd be thrilled if one of my books sold big and lots of people read it, it's not why I write.

I write for the joy of the left/right brain connection, for the thrill of creating and organizing and resolving the issues that come up for my characters. There's a lot of satisfaction for me in creating, and perhaps in leaving my voice behind when I go.

So while my 2011 dream list seems ambitious, I'm really wanting creative activity to be a huge part of my life from here on out. We don't know how much time we have or what will happen in the time remaining. I want mine to be rich and full and productive. And I take to heart this question: If not now, then when?

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