Put on your own mask first

My good friend Tamara commented on my last post with the phrase above. It's so appropriate in so many parts of my life, any time I'm tempted to take care of others first, especially my clients. It's so easy for me to get stuck in work mode where I get a chance to be capable and competent and needed. And before I know it, I'm way out of balance and tired and stressed and can hardly muster the energy for any of the creative work.

In fact, for all of us who find that creative time, whether it's painting or writing or collaging or acting or doodling or gardening or cooking, is a part of our health and well-being, doing that first makes us more friendly, happy, helpful, thoughtful because it makes us whole.

Putting on my own mask first means journaling every day, it means writing on Writing Fridays, it means putting glue to paper or working with color as many days as I possibly can. It means making sure I've several creative dates planned in my calendar for the weeks ahead. Seeing them in my calendar helps remind me of that purpose in my life. It means planning creative retreats every couple of months so that there is sustained time to immerse myself in whatever projects are currently underway. And as I've mentioned in some recent posts, for me, it also involves having projects that I announce to others and developing ways to be accountable to fulfil on those projects.

Moving into the next project

Since April 15, when I wrote the 100th poem in my self-imposed challenge, I haven't done any creative writing at all. It's 2-1/2 weeks and that's a long stretch for me. One of my reasons for having Writing Fridays is to make sure each week something gets written, so I stay in practice and momentum. But on April 22, I did some administrative work around my books and last week I was in Minnesota preparing to give a speech, and I've had lots of work and on and on. The truth is, I just haven't carved out the time to write a fictional prompt or another poem or to sit down to my novel, which is patiently waiting.

I do see the need for a bit of fallow time after one project's over and so I'm not feeling guilty but I also know that I need to get back at it as I'm definitely losing momentum and the habit of writing daily. It's also easy for me to relapse into workaholism where my clients' needs are more important than my own. And I guess I have some fear that my creativity will slip away from me if I don't keep my hand in.

So I am moving on to the next project, which is to complete the second draft of my novel by August 1. I am also going to begin writing a fictional prompt 10 minutes a day and complete 100 of these by Labor Day. That seems a good goal, especially as both of my novels have gotten their start in those kinds of prompts.

Looking forward to balancing back into my creative priority this next week.

Choosing to matter

I've been reading Eric Maisel's new book, Mastering Creative Anxiety. Eric is one of my teachers (his online classes on creativity self-coaching and coaching others are wonderful) and I joined a free online group to practice the principles that he sets out in the book. I still love having homework assignments (probably why I love a defined project so much) and Friday afternoon I sat down and did the two assignments for the online group that I'd been postponing for about two weeks.

The first principle/took is to become more existentially decisive. Rather than lolling in the morass of self-doubt (do I matter, does what I do matter?), Maisel encourages us to decide to matter, to "call ourselves sacred" and to do so in a decisive way. To decide, to declare that my writing, my painting, my performing matter. My auditions, my queries to agents, my entry into contests, my reading of books on writing, my attendance at workshops, they all matter, regardless of how many other poems exist in the world, how many people are wanting to get published, how many are called and how few are chosen.

Some other ideas from Maisel:

It is our job to make meaning, even if the universe doesn't care about meaning (and I'm not sure it doesn't).

I am in charge of my life's meaning.

I will live a principled, value-driven, creative, ballsy life of as much joy as I can stand and as much effort as I can muster.

I will live according to my principles.

I am the captain of my soul even though I may not be the master of my faith.

Why we write and what we write

In the history of Western higher education, writing has changed significantly in the last 100 years. Originally essays and papers and exams were an opportunity to explore a topic and to discover what the student knew and believed about that issue. Then over the years, especially in America, they devolved into a sort of regurgitation of what the student had been taught, proof that they'd been listening to the teacher and had absorbed the "knowledge" of the textbook.


But that sense of exploration is not dead and is, in fact, at the heart of many of the best writings. It's one of the things I love about the novels of Ian McEwan. I can feel that he is exploring some aspect of human relationship and usually, conscience and values. Michael Connolly's mysteries often have this same sense of exploration, particularly in the mind of his main character. On the other hand, I grew tired of Sue Grafton's alphabetical series because the author and characters didn't seem to be exploring anything.

I suspect the exploration and the theme of the novel are related but I also suspect not necessarily. (I use "suspect" since I haven't given that great thought yet.) I know that it is essential that something deeper and fundamental get explored in good writing. That exploration may be what is original as each of our explorations will be filtered through our experience and beliefs, which are as unique as our fingerprints. In fact, that may constitute our literary fingerprint.

So as you work on your essay, your short story, your poem, or your novel, what are you exploring? Which character is your spokesperson? What situations or experiences will guide the characters exploration? Interesting to ponder as I move into the second draft of my novel.

The importance of having a project

Today is April 15 and I am in the middle of writing my 100th poem since the January 1. As you may remember, I took a poem-a-day class from Sage Cohen in January and I had such a good time that I decided to set a bigger goal, a bigger project, and write 100 poems by April 15. Today is a Writing Friday and so I knew I could finish as I had only #98, 99, and 100 left to do. (You may be wondering why I didn't finish #100 before writing this post but I'm stuck and need to shift gears and come back to it.)

In the writers group I led last Tuesday, we talked about how much easier it is for most of us to find writing time in our busy schedules if we have a concrete project to work on. Saying that I'll write an hour a day is much harder to show up for than I'll write for an hour on my novel and write at least one full page. It also helps to have an end-date for a section or draft. I don't like the word "deadline" as it sounds too much like work but knowing I've set Sept 1 to finish my novel gives me just the right amount of pressure to schedule in the writing days and retreat weeks that will make it happen.

I would never have found the time to write 100 poems in 105 days if I hadn't created the project, announced it, committed to it, and then done it. So if you're wondering why you're not getting as much writing done as you'd like, consider creating a doable project and use following steps:

1. Define the project.
2. Announce the project and deadline.
3. Schedule the time.
4. Follow through.

If I were rich

For the past three weeks, I've been doing an online class on feng shui and prosperity. I've had some good things happen with feng shui around my home and thought I'd give this class a try. As the teacher points out, the actual circumstances of the different activities are much less important than the intention and focus that you put into doing them and that's helpful for me, the idea of focusing on and intending prosperity. And this is not just financial prosperity but all kinds of abundance.

One of the exercises each day is an idea to contemplate and then write about. Yesterday, it was writing about a luxury that you've always wanted to afford if money were no object. I thought about the material things I could get (a better car, a new wardrobe) but what I'd really like is the money to take writing and painting classes whenever--and wherever--I wanted to. I'd love to travel to different places and take workshops with painters like Jeanne Carbonetti or do a writing retreat in Greece with Judith Barrington or have the money for the year-long creative writing program at the Attic here in Portland.

I'd like to improve my skills and learn some new techniques and visit some intriguing places, but mostly I'd like to have a structured way to spend that time focused on my creative work. I would love that.

When poetry nags to be written

Today, I put in a good work day editing several projects for clients. I worked until I became inefficient as I have a couple of tight deadlines for these projects. But all day poetry has been nagging at me. The nagging actually started yesterday when I turned off the alarm and went back to bed. "You could get up and write a poem or two before you start your day," a little voice said and I ignored it and spent a luxurious additional hour in my comfy bed.

And then last night, the voice was back. "How about now?" as I got out of the shower and turned on a couple of episodes of Saving Grace or "Even now?" as I brushed my teeth.

This morning I got up early. I had a lot on my plate, including this big project for a new client and some of the work needed doing right away and I postponed breakfast and got it edited and sent off and all the while, the poetry muse was whispering and tugging at my sleeve and I kept brushing him aside.

But then it got to be 5:15 and I was done with work for the day...out of steam...and I thought about kicking back with the novel I'm reading or turning on Netflix and then the voice said "Write for an hour, just do it, no more thinking about it, just doing it, just write even if it's crap," and I did and I wrote two poems quite quickly and I feel so much better.